Once you learn how to do something, you don't lose it. Unless you die.

Przybilla can't guard me when I'm 27, 37 or 47.

I think the new ball is terrible. It's the worst decision some expert, whoever did it, made. It's terrible. It's like touching an exotic dancer and then going and touching a plastic blow-up doll. You know, it feels different.

If I were a painter, you'd be calling me Shaqcasso.

We're focusing on the whole pie, not a slice. A slice is good, but it's not good enough to get you fat. We're trying to get fat.

A friend tweeted me with 'The Big Freeze.' I don't know about that one. I've got to go home, play around with the kids and figure something out. I'll have one.

My first movie. I think I won an Oscar for this.