Talk to the guys that ain't doing nothing, don't talk to me. I just want eight guys out there with me who want to play.

Doesn't matter. If I would've had a beer before the game, I would've been drunk. So I don't believe in 'if.'

A writer from ESPN magazine once described me as the world's largest eleven-year-old. That's true. I ride my Sea-Doo jet ski, play putt-putt golf, go to water parks, and act silly. On the bottom floor of my house in Beverly Hills, I have video games, a pool table, a Pepsi machine, and all the things they have in arcades. I drive go-karts, at least the ones I can fit in. I karate-chop my friends when they come over, like the Kato dude in the Pink Panther movies.

Keep in mind, I'm not allowed to be tough. I'm tamed.

We're focusing on the whole pie, not a slice. A slice is good, but it's not good enough to get you fat. We're trying to get fat.

Man, I don't wanna do what all the other guys do. I don't wanna end up in the booth after the games telling you what I think and talking smack about the guys on the floor when they are a lot better than that. I wanna be different. I don't wanna be known as Commentator Shaq. I wanna be a doctor or something good. I wanna be Dr. Shaq, Officer Shaq, Deputy Shaq.

You have to foul me to stop me, period.