That has nothing to do with basketball. That's just because I'm sexy.

We want you all to be in shape and look as good as me. Because I will be walking naked on the beach.

I'm going to be looking to get out like Randy Moss and Terrell Owens.

But you can not compare Yao's stats to mine. You just can't compare it and I am playing everyone one-on-one.

I'll just have to get it against my favorite team.

A writer from ESPN magazine once described me as the world's largest eleven-year-old. That's true. I ride my Sea-Doo jet ski, play putt-putt golf, go to water parks, and act silly. On the bottom floor of my house in Beverly Hills, I have video games, a pool table, a Pepsi machine, and all the things they have in arcades. I drive go-karts, at least the ones I can fit in. I karate-chop my friends when they come over, like the Kato dude in the Pink Panther movies.

When I first came in, I partied and had a good time. I used to spend $500,000 on chains that don't make no sense. Then I started having babies. I don't do the bull**** no more.