Being an older mom, I'm super mellow with my kids. Also, "curious" and "loving.

I can always tell when people have had plastic surgery.

I hate that word, mature, but I guess I am growing up.

Don't the wounded bird still sing?

Bring you comics in bed, scrape the mold off the bread, and serve you French toast again. Okay, I still get stoned.

I've got no one to blame for every time I feel lame.

I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.