Ah, how many luxuries has the good God prepared for his Jewish children.

You see how it is, my dear friends. There's no pleasing everyone. It's hopeless to even try, and the more you play the peacemaker, the less peaceful things become.

A real pleasure is a pleasure that one enjoys by one's self, without a companion, and without a single argument.

A wise word is not a substitute for a piece of herring.

I never turn down a drink. Among friends it’s always appropriate. A man is only a man as they say, but brandy is still brandy. You’ll find that in the Talmud too.

No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.

Remember, you must not sleep at the Seder. If you do, Elijah the Prophet will come with a bag on his shoulders. On the two first nights of Passover, Elijah the Prophet goes about looking for those who have fallen asleep at the Seder, and takes them away in his bag.