I was in my tighty-whities and I never woke up, and I ran over a mile.

I know all the new phrases: 'cowabunga,' 'radical,' cat's pajamas,' 'duh,' and 'hey, homie don't play that.

Daddy had a farm - cows, pigs, OK, a big garden, OK? We did live off the land, and then we would supplement all that with whatever we could kill or catch. Whether we'd kill squirrels, deer, duck, or caught catfish or brim, that was what went on the table.

I messed up on the Vietnam Special, because I gave it to civilians? Only military men can handle that.

A beaver is about like the ninjas the suckers only work at night and they're hard to find.

My wife asked me about that: "What happened to your beard?" I said, "What are you talking about?" She said, "Hey, the right side is shorter than the left." I said, "You gotta be kidding me." So I went in there and looked, and I combed it out and I said, "I don't know, that's just the way it grows."

I sting like a butterfly and punch like a flea.