Never insult a mans beard, you either get thunder or lightning

I'm always just carrying a Tupperware cup, ever since my mom went to a Tupperware party and got 'em. I've left them strewn all over the U.S. and Europe. I drink iced tea out of them.

Never insult a mans beard, you either get thunder or lightning

Everybody when they saw it, they said, "Did Willie Nelson sign your hat?" I'd say, "No, that'd be Willie Knucklehead - Robertson, OK?" We were at an event for the fans and I took my hat off and set it down on the couch, and he signed it. I said, "What are you doing, idiot?" He said, "Look, I was in the zone, and you just happened to put your hat in my zone."

I don't know what a person does that does not have a relationship with God. When he goes to the doctor and the doctors says, 'Hey, you've got less than two months to live and there's nothing we can do for you.' Who do they turn to when you're given something that earth shattering?

I was in my tighty-whities and I never woke up, and I ran over a mile.

God has taken four guys that look like five miles of muddy road and made them famous in the TV world.