I also learned to play Fruit Ninja on an iPad. It is quite hypnotic, and I hope one day to get past 100 points. I remembered that David Cameron admits to being an addict. I wonder if it helps him in his work. 'Great, just destroyed a pineapple! Reminds me, shall we send those grenades to the Syrian rebels?'

The formal Washington dinner party has all the spontaneity of a Japanese imperial funeral.

I know of no wars started by anyone to impose lack of religion on someone else.

They're called Virgin Trains because they don't go all the way.

The nanny seemed to be extinct until 1975, when, like the coelacanth, she suddenly and unexpectedly reappeared in the shape of Margaret Thatcher.

The Chinese do make vast quantities of wine for home consumption, but you wouldn't want to drink it yourself.

In Washington, the first thing people tell you is what their job is. In Los Angeles you learn their star sign. In Houston you're told how rich they are. And in New York they tell you what their rent is.