Canada is not so much a country as a clothesline nearly 4,000 miles long. St John's in Newfoundland is closer to Milan, Italy than to Vancouver.

Even I would find a book about my life pretty dull.

Disney World has acquired by now something of the air of a national shrine. American parents who don't take their children there sense obscurely that they have failed in some fundamental way, like Muslims who never made it to Mecca.

Seeing John Major govern the country is like watching Edward Scissorhands try to make balloon animals.

Why should we subsidize intellectual curiosity?

While it is entirely untrue that Canadians lack a sense of humour, the funniest ones tend to head south: Dan Aykroyd, Jim Carrey, Michael J. Fox.

Remember how Margaret Thatcher came to believe that abroad was more important than at home? Didn't do her much good.