Hey, Carlos," the Professor says when he walks in. "How was REACH?" "It sucked." "Can you be more specific?" my guardian asks. "It really sucked," I elaborate, sarcasm dripping from every word.

And for those of you who want to start any trouble, I have a zero tolerance policy. . . .

Gary, who's wearing a coral shirt and white pants, growls to look tough. It doesn't work.

I've never seen anythin' sexier in my life, and she's not even naked yet.

You're stressing too much about what might be. Do something to take your mind off thinking about what might never happen.

Look at me, chica." When she does, I repeat, "Eres hermosa." "What does it mean?" "You're beautiful.

Julian, sometimes girls are like junk food. They look good, and they sure taste good… but you know they're not healthy for you and cause cavities so it's better to just leave 'em alone. Got me?