Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one but they think each others stink.

I've spent so much time avoiding arguments and smoothing relationships with the people around me, this confrontation is painful.

She ignores me, so I cup my hands over my mouth and do something I haven’t done in years— barnyard sounds.

That wouldn't fit my right testicle

Stop thinking about Michael," Tuck orders. "He was cute." "So is a hairy ferret but I wouldn't want to date one. [...]

The end of one thing is just the beginning of another.

Is anyone human actually normal? I'm beginning to think being normal is actually abnormal.