Suburbia is too close to the country to have anything real to do and too close to the city to admit you have nothing real to do.

I have a disproportionate amount of faith in the goodness of the world and that everything will actually work out okay.

I wanted to be an archaeologist. But in school you have to take a tremendous amount of statistics for that, and I am not good at statistics. So I hit a real wall with archaeology. It's probably like wanting to be an architect - you think it's all fun and games, and then you have to get out a calculator and you're done.

I was pretty dorky, but there are tiers of dorkdom and I always had friends, though they were equally dorky. I was one of those kids who contracted cooties in the second grade and then had cooties, because there wasn't a vaccine for it. When I was around people, though, I generally wanted to make them laugh. I told a lot of stories.

For me, nothing brings out my 'born yesterday' idiotic qualities quite like having my photograph taken.

I thought we had reached an understanding, the institution of marriage and I. Weddings are like the triathalon of female friendship: the Shower, the Bachelorette Party, and the Main Event. It's the Iron Woman and most people never make it through. They fall of their bikes and choke on ocean water.

I would gladly have accepted a heaping spoonful of nepotism when I got out of college and was looking for a job.