It seemed more and more like something out of a children's book - the butterfly that followed the little girl all the way home to her fifth-floor walk-up. How above-the-law children's books are. Hansel and Gretel (littering, breaking and entering), Rumpelstiltskin (forced labor), Snow White (conspiracy to commit murder), Rapunzel (breach of contract).

My grandmother was a kind of Scarsdale, New York, society woman, best known in her day as the author of the 1959 book 'Growing Your Own Way: An Informal Guide for Teen-Agers' - this despite being a person whose parenting style made Joan Crawford's wire hangers look like pool noodles.

It is my belief that people who speak of high school with a sugary fondness are bluffing away early-onset Alzheimer's.

You know what they say: 'Why sit at a table that doesn't have key lime pie on it if you don't have to?'

Who do you have to sleep with to get laid in this town?

I like to try to do a little work before I do anything in the morning, even if it's a paragraph.

I would gladly have accepted a heaping spoonful of nepotism when I got out of college and was looking for a job.