There are two kinds of people in this world: those who know where their high school yearbook is and those who do not.

I don't do emoticons unless I'm making a big deal out of them. I'll type out, 'This is so amusing it makes me want to grin in pixels.' And then do it.

Alaska is what happens when Willy Wonka and the witch from Hansel and Gretel elope, buy a place together upstate, renounce their sweet teeth, and turn into health fanatics.

Suburbia is too close to the country to have anything real to do and too close to the city to admit you have nothing real to do.

Every time I open the drawer, it's a trip down Memory Lane, which, if you don't turn off at the right exit, merges straight into the Masochistic Nostalgia Highway.

You feel like telling him you're not single in the way that he thinks you're single. After all, you have yourself.

I have a disproportionate amount of faith in the goodness of the world and that everything will actually work out okay.