Mind your own Brazilian!" The words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them. Oops. OK. The trick when you've said something embarrassing by mistake is not to overreact. Instead, keep your chin up and pretend nothing happened.

But you can't stay with people because of guilt. Or because they can drive a speedboat.

Being a journalist is good if you want to write books: it teaches you to get beyond the blank screen. My books have been described as froth but there's scope to be witty and ironic about everything in life.

Maybe my identity's been stolen. Or maybe I was sleep-shopping!

A mistake isn’t a mistake unless it can’t be put right.

I've never written a children's book, but when people meet me for the first time and I say I write books, they invariably reply, 'Children's books?' Maybe it's something about my face.

I’m blushing at my own stupid, nonsensical, meaningless thought process, which, by the way, nobody knows about except me.