Becky! Love!" Mum has pushed her way through her dancing guests to reach me. "What's wrong? Has labor started?" Honestly. My family has no idea about contemporary urban street dance trends.

I’m blushing at my own stupid, nonsensical, meaningless thought process, which, by the way, nobody knows about except me.

Sam doesn't hesitate for a minute. 'You say, "Mr and Mrs Tavish, you're making me feel inferior. Do you really think I'm inferior or is it just in my mind?

I am not a label snob and have learned that the thrill of shopping can be just as great, if not more so, when you find a bargain.

If you can't be honest with your friends and colleagues and loved ones, then what is life all about?

A man will never love you or treat you as well as a store. If a man doesn't fit, you can't exchange him seven days later for a gorgeous cashmere sweater. And a store always smells good. A store can awaken a lust for things you never even knew you needed. And when your fingers first grasp those shiny, new bags...

Emma, your granddad’s on the line,” says Artemis, putting her hand over the receiver. “Something about the night bus and he’ll never trust you again?