In 1971, after seven years in college, with that magic piece of paper clutched triumphantly in my fist, the best job I was able to get was night watchman on a sewer project in Babylon, N.Y. guarding a hole in the ground to prevent anyone from stealing it. God bless the American educational system!

Information can't be put in any container that isn't leaky.

Librarians are like crack dealers when it comes to hooking small children.

A beginning is the end of something, always.

The day Apollo 11 landed, I knew men would walk on Mars in my lifetime. I'm no longer nearly so sure. The last budget put forward in Canada contained not a penny for Mars.

Time didn't pass; it tailgated.

Man, you're no smarter than me. You're just a fancier kind of stupid.