Hell, I am young. I am free. My teeth are clean. The sun shines. To hell with everything else

Old Professors never die, they just lose their faculties.

I went to Cambridge and thought I would stay there. I thought I would quietly grow tweed in a corner somewhere and become a Don or something.

Like vichyssoise, revenge is a dish best served cold.

As humourless a lump of dough as ever held a torchlight vigil outside the South African Embassy or stuck an AIDS awareness ribbon on an unwilling first-nighter.

I've never had any illusions about being a lead actor in films, because lead actors have to be of a certain kind.

If you know someone who's depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn't a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.