Cheat? Good heavens, this is an amateur cricket match amongst leading prep schools, I'm an Englishman and a schoolmaster supposedly setting an example to his young charges. We are playing the most artistic and beautiful game ever devised. Of course I'll cunting well cheat. Now, give me my robe and put on my crown. I have immortal longings in me.

I certainly don't want to be formulaic. I want to be honest and authentic and everything else.

A university is not, thank heavens, a place for vocational instruction, it has nothing to do with training for a working life and career, it is a place for education, something quite different.

Hold the newsreader's nose squarely, waiter, or friendly milk will countermand my trousers.

The other man's arse is always cleaner!

Personally, I'd never seen a graphic novel. I knew they existed because friends of mine like Jonathan Ross collect them and some very literate and intelligent people really rate the graphic novel as a form.

Money and fame are trashy and don't guarantee happiness, but we all refuse really to know it.