People who can change and change again are so much more reliable and happier than those who can’t

The other man's arse is always cleaner!

It is a cliche that most cliches are true, but then like most cliches, that cliche is untrue.

Seriousness is no more a guarantee of truth, insight, authenticity or probity, than humour is a guarantee of superficiality and stupidity.

You can act in five, six, or seven films in the time it takes to direct one film.

Music takes me to places of illimitable sensual and insensate joy, accessing points of ecstasy that no angelic lover could ever locate, or plunging me into gibbering weeping hells of pain that no torturer could ever devise".

I went to Cambridge and thought I would stay there. I thought I would quietly grow tweed in a corner somewhere and become a Don or something.