People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them I have the heart of a small boy... and I keep it in a jar on my desk.

Description is what makes the reader a sensory participant in the story.

On the subject of love at first sight, I’m with the Beatles: I believe that it happens all the time.

I think there ought to be some serious discussion by smart people, really smart people, about whether or not proliferation of things like The Smoking Gun and TMZ and YouTube and the whole celebrity culture is healthy. We've switched from a culture that was interested in manufacturing, economics, politics - trying to play a serious part in the world - to a culture that's really entertainment-based. I mean, I know people who can tell you who won the last four seasons on American Idol and they don't know who their [bleeping] Representatives are.

Any statement beginning with the words 'In truth' is almost always a lie.

Busy as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

Time slowed and reality bent; on and on the eggman went.