I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.

You could start at a path leading nowhere more fantastic than from your own front steps to the sidewalk, and from there you could go… well, anywhere at all.

There had never been a shortage of fools in the world

Most people are optimists, although they may claim they are not. People who call themselves realists are often the biggest optimists of all.

I watched Titanic when I got back home from the hospital, and cried. I knew that my IQ had been damaged.

Write what you like, then imbue it with life and make it unique by blending in your own personal knowledge of life, friendship, relationships, sex, and work. Especially work. People love to read about work. God knows why, but they do.

So okay - there you are in your room with the shade down and the door shut and the plug pulled out of the base of the telephone. You've blown up your TV and committed yourself to a thousand words a day, come hell or high water. Now comes the big question: What are you going to write about? And the equally big answer: Anything you damn well want.