Anything nice that's said about me is diametrically opposed to who I am.

Like most people, I have painful memories of trying to fit in as a child. I wore, said, and did pretty much what everyone else did.

Being a leading man... that's like saying I want to be astronaut. That's not going to happen.

An office is a place to... live life to the fullest. To the max. To... an office is a place where dreams come true.

Children are very smart, in their own stupid way. A child's brain is like a sponge, and you know how smart sponges are.

Oh, I so don't care about the podium at the Oscars. I've stood at the podium at the Oscars and that's close enough. To be a presenter is as close as I need to be.

I don't think my kids have to worry too much about me embarrassing them because that's not how I would want to grow up, with wacky dad showing up at school and performing for everyone.