Anything nice that's said about me is diametrically opposed to who I am.

People say, 'What's the secret to a marriage?' There's no secret - I think you get lucky.

Style advice? Always wear clothes... that are... clean, for starters. An added bonus if it is pressed as well. Unless you are wearing clothes that are supposed to look rumpled.

My wife is way funnier than I am. As much as I don't really feel I share a sense of humour with my family, I definitely share one with her - we find the same things funny.

I ate fiberglass insulation. It wasn’t cotton candy like the guy said… my tummy itches.

Is it true that if you don’t USE it you LOSE it?

I had, like, two goals in my career: One was to try to get into 'Second City.' When I moved to Chicago, my goal was to try to work at 'Second City.' And beyond that, my goal was to make enough money as an actor to not do anything else but act, not have to go and wait tables again.