The tabloids operate in an amoral parallel universe where the bottom line is selling newspapers.

Even great people are always slightly disappointing, which is generally what makes them interesting.

Going to a grammar school, you mixed with all sorts of different types and I used to listen to how they talked. When I did my imitations, I could sound like someone really rough, or I could sound like a cabinet minister.

It's arguably the best newspaper in the world.

I'm not like a politician that goes around talking about family values. And I can't get fired from being a funny person because I did something that most people are disapproving of. I think people are just obsessed with this morality that people perceive as being the right and wrong way of doing stuff.

I happen to have a public profile. Ditto newspaper editors. It's a result of what I do, not an end.

Actually the best thing I did was to get thrown out by my wife. She's living with a fitness instructor. He drinks that yellow stuff in tins. He's an idiot.