I'm a old hoodlum, so I will jump on you if I have to.

We men are very simple people: if we like what we see, we’re coming over there. If we don’t want anything from you, we’re not coming over there. Period. Please highlight this part right here so you can always remind yourself the next time a man steps to you: a man always wants something. Always. And when it comes to women, that plan is always to find out two things: (1) if you’re willing to sleep with him, and (2) if you are, how much it will cost to get you to sleep with him.

I know how men think when they're not responding to questions in a clinical study.

THE MORE PEOPLE YOU HELP BECOME SUCCESSFUL, THE MORE SUCCESSFUL YOU BECOME.

I never say "nagging". I think that "nagging" is a term that men created to get women to pipe down some. But it's a trap that we've created. We created several terms for women to back you down. Nagging means to stop asking me questions, then we get away with more. I think it's a term men created.

If I were an animal, I'd probably be a bald eagle, since I'm already bald and I love to fish. But I'd probably be a shaky-ass eagle because I'm afraid of flying.

I'm just a living witness that you can be an imperfect soldier and still be in the army fighting for God Almighty. Don't you think you got to be perfect 'cause I ain't.