My father instilled in me to take care of my family. Show up even when you don't want to show up.

The best timed joke or the best timed phrase comes at spontaneous moments and just relies on me as the host to be very quick, and that's what I do.

Your reality is yours. Stop wasting time looking at someone else's reality while doing nothing about yours.

When I first got money, I went through it like everybody else, because I didn't know. But, right now, I've educated myself and placed smart people around me. I surrounded myself with people who not only are intelligent and effective about finances, taxes, and money management, but they (also) love me.

You can take lessons to become almost anything: flying lessons, piano lessons, skydiving lessons, acting lessons, race car driving lessons, singing lessons. But there's no class for comedy. You have to be born with it. God has to give you this gift.

You can be happy, or you can be right. If you want to be part of a couple and win every argument, you're in trouble.

Ask any guy if sex is important in a relationship and the one who says no is lying. I just haven't met that guy yet. When you meet him, let's get him in to the Smithsonian - he's that special and rare.