You can take lessons to become almost anything: flying lessons, piano lessons, skydiving lessons, acting lessons, race car driving lessons, singing lessons. But there's no class for comedy. You have to be born with it. God has to give you this gift.

You are never too old to reinvent yourself.

I tell my boys not to play rough with their younger sister. I try to teach them what I know already: You're never going to win an argument with a girl, so just let her have what she wants!

My father told me never to take my foot off a ladder to kick at someone who was kicking at me. When I did that, I would no longer be climbing. While they are kicking, my father told me, I should keep stepping. They can kick only one time. If I continued to climb, they would be left behind. In trying to hurt me, to impede my progress, they would get left behind because they allowed themselves to get sidetracked from their agenda.

Don't hate the player; change the game

You've got to quit lowering your standards. Set your requirements up front so when a guy hooks you, he has to know this is business.

I don't want people to see me fall. I mean, I got enough people cheering for me to fall now... The Internet has created some amazing place for evil to exist, you dig?