I'm not a human being. I'm despicable and disgusting - but that's where the money is.

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... an Arctic region covered with ice.

Unlike Ray Porter, his love is fearless and without reservation.

I just wanted to be in show business. I didn't care if I was going to be an actor or a magician or what. Comedy was a point of the least resistance, really. And on the simplest level, I loved comedy.

His view of the world is one that keeps his blood pressure low, sweeping the cholesterol from his relaxed, freeway-sized arteries. Everyone knows he is going to live till age ninety, although the question that goes begging is, “for what?

I try not to think about legacy because it is all ­folly. If you study history, even recent history, you'll find many people who were quite significant in their time but are completely forgotten.

I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.