My Nan had a plastic hip put in, but I thought she should have replaced it with a Slinky, 'cause if she fell down the stairs again.

When you're told as a caddie we need to take a break, you're fired.

I was talking to my friend from New York yesterday, and I used the expression, 'You can't polish a turd'. He looked at me, disgusted, and said, 'No, you can't, but you can roll it in glitter'. He's a lovely guy but I wouldn't want to go to a craft fair with him

I think it's always when you go to caddie for another player, it's no different to when you start with a new player. The very most important thing is when you get the first opportunity to have a win is to try and show them that you know what you're doing. It's easier said than done.

My Nan had a plastic hip put in, but I thought she should have replaced it with a Slinky, 'cause if she fell down the stairs again.

A headline last year, after the death of Saddam Hussein, read: 'Tyrant is hanged'. My auntie looked at the newspaper and sobbed, 'Who's going to present "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"'

Obviously I'm very confident, not only on the golf course, when I race. I've always backed myself. I'm a very confident sort of person.