Hitler: Thank you, whoever you are. I think you just saved my life. The Doctor: Believe me... It was an accident.

If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best.

Young Reinette: Monsieur, be careful! The Doctor: It's just a nightmare, Reinette, don't worry, everyone has nightmares. Even monsters under the bed have nightmares! Young Reinette: What do monsters have nightmares about? The Doctor: Me!

When man invented fire, he didn't say, "Hey, let's cook." He said, "Great, now we can see naked bottoms in the dark.

The Doctor: Doctor Song, you've got that face on again. River: What face? The Doctor: The "He's hot when he's clever" face. River: This is my normal face. The Doctor: Yes it is. River: Oh, shut up. The Doctor: Not a chance.

Rule 1: The Doctor lies.

There's one thing you don't put in a trap, if you're smart, if you value your continued existance, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there is one thing you never ever put in a trap. And what would that be sir? Me