Hitler: Thank you, whoever you are. I think you just saved my life. The Doctor: Believe me... It was an accident.
Steven MoffatLike most writers, I write about what has happened to me as that involves the minimum amount of research.
Steven MoffatTwins are under-represented in the media. Hamlet - never twins. Hamlet Twins Of Denmark. King And Queen Lear. It would work. Come on, more twins on television.
Steven MoffatI like that Helen Mirren has been saying the next doctor should be a woman. I would like to go on record and say that the Queen should be played by a man!
Steven MoffatWe have a plan to top it. And I do think our plan is devastating. We’ve practically reduced our cast to tears telling them the plan … we’re probably more excited that we’ve ever been about Sherlock.
Steven MoffatI know this is going to sound very self-serving, and I apologize for it, but if you can write comedy, you can pretty much write anything, because it's the hardest. It's the most technically demanding, the most precisely evaluated form of writing. People know if it works or not. There's a big button marked 'fail,' and that's when nobody laughs.
Steven MoffatSo is this how it works Doctor? You never interfere with the affairs of other peoples or planets, unless there are children crying?
Steven MoffatYou don’t just give up. You don’t just let things happen. You make a stand! You say no! You have the guts to do what’s right, even when everyone else just runs away.
Steven MoffatI hope I won't become hated by geeks everywhere, but I don't really know comic books all that well.
Steven MoffatWell, the world is vastly counted in favour of men at every level - except if you live in a civilised country and you’re sort of educated and middle-class, because then you’re almost certainly junior in your relationship and in a state of permanent, crippled apology. Your preferences are routinely mocked. There’s a huge, unfortunate lack of respect for anything male.
Steven MoffatYou have to take your own bold approach, and if you do you will be rewarded with success. Or calamitous failure. That can happen too.
Steven MoffatAs we all know, it is the proper duty of every British subject to come to the aid of the TARDIS.
Steven MoffatI was called a misogynist because I was reducing women to mothers. 'Reducing women to mothers' – now there is possibly the most anti-women statement I've heard.
Steven MoffatI'll be a story in your head. That's okay. We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? 'Cause it was, you know. It was the best. The daft old man who stole a magic box and ran away. Did I ever tell you that I stole it? Well I borrowed it. I was always going to take it back.
Steven MoffatThere’s this issue you’re not allowed to discuss: that women are needy. Men can go for longer, more happily, without women. That’s the truth. We don’t, as little boys, play at being married - we try to avoid it for as long as possible. Meanwhile women are out there hunting for husbands.
Steven MoffatI think of myself as a writer with a sense of humour rather than a comedy writer. Happy to tell a story with lots of jokes in it - I wouldn't know how to do jokes without the story.
Steven MoffatEverybody knows that everybody dies. But not every day. Not today. Some days are special. Some days are so, so blessed. Some days, nobody dies at all. Now and then, every once in a very long while, every day in a million days, when the wind stands fair and the Doctor comes to call, everybody lives.
Steven MoffatMadame Kovarian: The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men have too many rules. The Doctor: Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.
Steven MoffatI like naked women! I'm a bloke! I'm supposed to like them! We're born like that. We like naked women as soon as we're pulled out of one... When Man invented fire, he didn't say "Hey, let's cook!" He said: "Great! Now we can see naked bottoms in the dark!"... The story of male achievement through the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been the story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms.
Steven MoffatAmy: I had something I wanted to tell him. Stuff always gets in the way. Canton: Stuff does that.
Steven MoffatWriting for adults often means just increasing the swearing - but find an alternative to swearing and you've probably got a better line.
Steven MoffatThere's something really cool about scaring children. Traumatize a generation, that's what it's all about.
Steven MoffatThe story of Sherlock Holmes, on the surface, is about detection, but in reality, it's about the best of two men who save each other - a lost, washed-up war hero and a man who could end up committing murders instead of solving them. They come together. They become this perfect unit. They become the best friendship ever, and they become heroes. That's what we fall in love with, not Sherlock on his own. No one can love that man on his own, but Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson - the best friends ever.
Steven MoffatAmy: "Can I come?" Doctor: "Not safe in here, not yet. Five minutes. Give me five minutes and I'll be right back." Amy: "People always say that." Doctor: "Am I people?...Do I even look like people?...Trust me, I'm the Doctor.
Steven MoffatWhen you're surrounded by friends and exes, there's a whole lot of stuff that starts crawling out. But however serious and traumatic those experiences may be to the participant, to the onlooker they're hilarious.
Steven MoffatThe Doctor: 'You know when grown-ups tell you everything's going to be fine, but you really think they're lying to make you feel better?' Amelia: 'Yeah...' The Doctor: 'Everything's going to be fine.
Steven MoffatI don't think, generally speaking, people become writers because they were the really good, really cool, attractive kid in class. I'll be honest. This is our revenge for people who were much better looking and more popular than us. I was a bit like that, I suppose.
Steven MoffatIf you take most men aside when their wives are pregnant, most men are pretty frightened and worried and faintly disgusted by the whole experience.
Steven MoffatThere's one thing you don't put in a trap, if you're smart, if you value your continued existance, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there is one thing you never ever put in a trap. And what would that be sir? Me
Steven MoffatThe way you get your script to the right people is that you put it in an envelope. It's easy. The difficult bit is writing something that is so good people will take a punt on a brand new writer.
Steven MoffatDemons run when a good man goes to war. Night will fall and drown the sun when a good man goes to war. Friendship dies and true love lies. Night will fall and the dark will rise when a good man goes to war. Demons run but count the cost; the battle's won but the child is lost.
Steven MoffatIt's the 50th year of Doctor Who and look what's going on! We're up in the sky and under the sea! We're running round the rings of an alien world and then a haunted house. There's new Cybermen, new Ice Warriors and a never before attempted journey to the centre of the TARDIS. And in the finale, the Doctor's greatest secret will at last be revealed! If this wasn't already our most exciting year it would be anyway!
Steven MoffatIf you don't expect to like someone and then you do, that's an incredibly exciting moment.
Steven MoffatSarah Jane Smith was everybody's hero when I was younger, and as brave and funny and brilliant as people only ever are in stories. But many years later, when I met the real Sarah Jane - Lis Sladen herself - she was exactly as any child ever have wanted her to be. Kind and gentle and clever; and a ferociously talented actress, of course, but in that perfectly English unassuming way.
Steven Moffat