There's nothing you can say that won't make you seem ungrateful or rude.

Too many people think that "good manners" are about subjugating yourself to others. Not true. Respect, and just as important, self-respect are two key elements in this equation.

As for LGBTQ people supporting Donald Trump (or other Republicans), I do understand that some of them value his stances on immigration, climate change (I should say "the war on coal"), and the economy over those of equality, fairness, and justice.

To parents who find a child's disclosure about sexual or gender identity challenging, I always urge what I'd call "moderated" honesty. If you can't say "I love you," then say something like, "I'm going to need some time to digest this news." Buy time this way. And then think.

From my vantage point, when I'm criticized in a way that I can hear what's being said - i.e., the issues - I'm more likely to listen and respond. A lot of the personal email I receive consists of name calling; I'll write back and say: Talk to me like I'm a person and you're a person and tell me where you disagree with me. I can't tell you how that turns people upside down. More often than not they write back with an apology and a reasoned argument.

We need to regain the art of civil discourse and more practically, I don't think you change anyone's mind by calling them names.

Okay, so here's my question: When did civility become incompatible with protest? Why do some people consider civility an antonym - anathema, even - to political action and dissent? Because, and I'm raising my voice, it's not. Have we forgotten how Mahatma Gandhi used nonviolent civil disobedience to free India from British rule and inspire civil rights movements worldwide?