Sometimes I claim I write because I put in an application at Sears and they've never called back.

What could smell better than supper being cooked by someone else?

Dream big but think small.

Grade school was perilous. ... I can see how I must have worried them. I was the kind of kid who, for no apparent reason, wept piteously or threw up on myself. On an especially scary day, I sometimes did both.

Smile. It gives your face something to do.

To many women mistake a man's hostility for wit and his silence for depth.

You write one book and you're ready for fame and fortune. I don't know that people are spending the time and attention on learning how to write-which takes years. Everybody sees the success stories.