When love doesn't work, we hurt. Indeed, “hurt feelings” is a precisely accurate phrase, according to psychologist Naomi Eisenberger of the University of California. Her brain imaging studies show that rejection and exclusion trigger the same circuits in the same part of the brain, the anterior cingulate, as physical pain.

When love doesn't work, we hurt. Indeed, “hurt feelings” is a precisely accurate phrase, according to psychologist Naomi Eisenberger of the University of California. Her brain imaging studies show that rejection and exclusion trigger the same circuits in the same part of the brain, the anterior cingulate, as physical pain.

In insecure relationships, we disguise our vulnerabilities so our partner never really sees us.

Love has an immense ability to help heal the devastating wounds that life sometimes deals us. Love also enhances our sense of connection to the larger world. Loving responsiveness is the foundation of a truly compassionate, civilized society.

Naming an emotion begins the process of regulating it and reflecting on it.

Being the “best you can be” is really only possible when you are deeply connected to another. Splendid isolation is for planets, not people.

The most functional way to regulate difficult emotions in love relationships is to share them.