One of the most crippling things we can do to ourselves is expect someone else to make us happy
Sue ThoeleAlthough many of us probably didn't get a thorough education in the value of a positive attitude, we can teach ourselves. Simply by making a decision to look for the good, happy, and beautiful in all things and all people, you will have completed the first and most important step in learning to accentuate the positive.
Sue ThoeleBecome aware of your beliefs and automatic default settings. Bring them into the light of your present, adult knowledge. Gently acknowledge that they are what they are. Then accept that they constitute what you've believed until now, and that you can transform them into beliefs that allow you to fully express who you really are. Without judgment, patiently begin working to change subconscious and limiting beliefs into true expressions of your authentic self.
Sue ThoeleFear-of not being loved, of abandonment, of being thought to be selfish-is the main thing that keeps us vulnerable and bound in the chains of emotional dependence. Therefore, our two most difficult challenges are to truly believe it is okay for us to be ourselves and to learn to live with, move through, and heal our fears.
Sue ThoeleEmotional dependence is the opposite of emotional strength. It means needing to have others to survive, wanting others to "do it for us," and depending on others to give us our self-image, make our decisions, and take care of us financially. When we are emotionally dependent, we look to others for our happiness, our concept of "self," and our emotional well-being. Such vulnerability necessitates a search for and dependence on outer support for a sense of our own worth.
Sue Thoele