I'm trying to paint an underwater ocean scene. It's just not working. My queen angelfish is supposed to have these bright yellow eyes and electric-blue stripes along the edge of her fin. Instead, it looks like I'm trying to paint a fried egg with some blue bacon. Maybe I can pass it off as postmodern.

You'll get through this. And I know it's impossible to believe right now, but it gets better. Trust me.

I can’t tell how much of our connection is because of the things we still have in common or the one thing that bonds us for life. But no matter what happens, I know I can totally count on Erin for anything. And she knows I’d do anything for her.

Oh and P.S.? I am in dire need of more coffee. Industrial strength.

When someone rips your heart out, there's nothing you can do to change how you feel about them. You just have to keep feeling that way until it goes away. Until it never does.

We’re never gonna understand women. They’re way too complex. You’ve got too many variables to consider. PMS, bad hair days, miscellaneous mood swings . . . there’s no way to tell what’s causing their attitude. - Mike

There's this total manwhore phenomenon happening, where even the geeks are player now. It's like Manhattan is this giant playground and guys want to keep playing forever.