I think many people kill themselves simply to stop the debate about whether they will or they won't.
Susanna KaysenThe girl at her music sits in another sort of light,the fitful,overcast light of lie,by which we see ourselves and others only imprefectly, and seldom..-Girl,Interrupted
Susanna KaysenSuicide is a form of murder - premeditated murder. It isn't something you do the first time you think of doing it. It takes getting used to. And you need the means, the opportunity, the motive. A successful suicide demands good organization and a cool head, both of which are usually incompatible with the suicidal state of mind.
Susanna KaysenBut when they were done, I wondered if there would be a next time. I felt good. I wasnโt dead, yet something was dead. Perhaps Iโd managed my peculiar objective of partial suicide. I was lighter, airier than Iโd been in years.
Susanna Kaysen