Emptiness and boredom: what a complete understatement. What I felt was complete desolation. Desolation, despair and boredom.

A successful suicide demands good organization and a cool head, both of which are usually incompatible with the suicidal state of mind.

Was everybody seeing this stuff and acting as though they weren't? Was insanity just a matter of dropping the act?

Don’t ask me those questions! Don’t ask me what life means or how we know reality or why we have to suffer so much. Don’t talk about how nothing feels real, how everything is coated with gelatin and shining like oil in the sun. I don’t want to hear about the tiger in the corner or the Angel of Death or the phone calls from John the Baptist.

This clarity made me able to behave normally, which posed some interesting questions. Was everybody seeing this stuff and acting as though they weren't? Was insanity just a matter of dropping the act? If some people didn't see these things, what was the matter with them? Were they blind or something? These questions had me unsettled.

Confuse was the nurses' word for abuse.

There is thought, and then there is thinking about thoughts, and they don't feel the same.