The thing about performance, even if it's only an illusion, is that it is a celebration of the fact that we do contain within ourselves infinite possibilities.

A man who wishes to make his way in life could do no better than go through the world with a boiling tea-kettle in his hand.

Oh, don't tell me of facts, I never believe facts; you know, [George] Canning said nothing was so fallacious as facts, except figures.

Errors, to be dangerous, must have a great deal of truth mingled with them. It is only from this alliance that they can ever obtain an extensive circulation.

What two ideas are more inseparable than beer and Britannia?

How can a bishop marry? How can he flirt? The most he can say is "I will see you in the vestry after service."

Politeness is good nature regulated by good sense.