How can a bishop marry? How can he flirt? The most he can say is "I will see you in the vestry after service."

He who drinks a tumbler of London water has literally in his stomach more animated beings than there are men, women, and children on the face of the globe.

His enemies might have said before that he talked rather too much; but now he has occasional flashes of silence, that make his conversation perfectly delightful.

When I hear any man talk of an unalterable law, the only effect it produces on me is to convince me that he is an unalterable fool

Madam, I have been looking for a person who disliked gravy all my life; let us swear eternal friendship.

The thing about performance, even if it's only an illusion, is that it is a celebration of the fact that we do contain within ourselves infinite possibilities.

The longer I live, the more I am convinced that the apothecary is of more importance than Seneca; and that half the unhappiness in the world proceeds from little stoppages; from a duct choked up, from food pressing in the wrong place, from a vexed duodenum, or an agitated pylorus.