When I'm attached, I find that I don't see the other person as clearly because I'm more caught up in what I'm wanting.

We can find true refuge within our own hearts and minds-right here, right now, in the midst of our moment-to-momen t lives.

I mentioned earlier the two wings of awareness. The first step is recognizing the fear of getting close to others - this honest witnessing of where it is in the body, where it is in your beliefs.The other wing regards what's seen with kindness and compassion.

Buddhist practices offer a way of saying, 'Hey, come back over here, reconnect.' The only way that you'll actually wake up and have some freedom is if you have the capacity and courage to stay with the vulnerability and the discomfort.

When we relax about imperfection, we no longer lose our life moments in the pursuit of being different and in the fear of what is wrong.

We are continually experiencing the conditioning to hold on, tighten, or resist.

My first book, 'Radical Acceptance', grew out of the suffering of feeling personally deficient and unworthy. Because most of us are so quick to turn against ourselves, the teachings and practices of radical acceptance continue as a strong current in 'True Refuge': nurturing a forgiving, understanding heart is a basic step on the path.