God knows America would be the greatest again if she operated like the Nugent family. No takers, no whiners, no gangsters, no dopers, no drunks, no criminals, no bloodsuckers, no excuse makers, no crybabies, no punks, no Obama supporters.

My memory bank has overflowed out of control forever. I'm surprised my smile hasn't killed me yet. I have lived an indescribable joyful, adventurous, musical dream life and it just gets better every year.

It grabs me, but not as much as it grabs some of the other people that rave about them. With the Black Keys, I'm missing crescendos with the sax, keyboard or guitar solo. It never comes to me. All my favorite music is rife with crescendo and I'm not hearing enough with them. If you can get the Black Keys to hear this, tell them I offer my crescendo guitar anytime they desire it.

My worst song is stimulating beyond words. My best songs are downright scary.

Jerry [Garcia] got high and Jerry's dead. I went hunting and I'm still Ted.

At 62, I remain clean and sober and my ponytail remains erect.

The preponderance of South Africa is a different breed of man. I mean that with no disrespect. I say that with great respect. I love them because I'm one of them. They are still people of the earth, but they are different. They still put bones in their noses, they still walk around naked, they wipe their butts with their hands. And when I kill an antelope for 'em, their preference is the gut pile.