I ceased cleansing my body. Two weeks before the test I stopped eating food with nutritional value. A week before, I stopped going to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. My pants got crusted up.

I play the living hell out of my guitars daily, and as sure as the sun rises in the east, killer licks, ideas, grooves, patterns and songs erupt every time.

I have self-actualized. Pardon me whilst I adjust my glowing halo.

The good news is that real-world hands-on conservation is alive and well and catching on across the America I travel.

When I made those wild-ass comments, on stage, about then-Senator Hillary Clinton and then-senator Barack Obama, I don't know if you can grasp the degree of adrenaline and intensity and sheer over-the-top animal spirit and attitude that I live on stage. I've got to take that deep breath.

At 62, I remain clean and sober and my ponytail remains erect.

If Barack Obama becomes the president in November again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year.