There are wonderful beings in this world.

We are educated. We can think. We have the freedom to think.

The problem is that our inherent ignorance keeps us in samsara and unable to benefit ourselves and others on a really deep level.

We're not making up merit scores for ourselves. We're making up merit scores so that we can be reborn in a situation where we can really live to benefit ourselves and others.

I'd say look at the teacher's students. Do you want to be like them? If you see a good and harmonious sangha, and if they're practicing well and are good people with good hearts, then you have a cause for trust.

On a relative level where we live, we need to have a sense of identity, otherwise we'd fall apart, wouldn't we?

Basically, I feel to spend the rest of my life doing retreat.