...William wondered why he always disliked people who said 'no offense meant.' Maybe it was because they found it easier to to say 'no offense meant' than actually to refrain from giving offense.

...'I thought the rule was that all monks were shaved.' 'Oh, Soto says he is bald under the hair,'said Lu Tze. 'He says the hair is a separate creature that just happens to live on him.

It doesn't matter how you live and die, it's how the bards wrote it down.

As we all know, the Discworld is a flat planet - like a geological pizza, but without the anchovies.

Ah," said Mr Pin. "Right. I remember. You are concerned citizens." He knew about concerned citizens. Wherever they were, they all spoke the same private language, where 'traditional values' meant 'hang someone'.

Do not act incautiously when confronting a little bald wrinkly smiling man!

Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show.