The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?

The reason that clichés become clichés is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication.

Corporal Nobbs had been disqualified from the human race for shoving

It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.

Ankh-Morpork! Pearl of cities! This is not a completely accurate description, of course — it was not round and shiny — but even its worst enemies would agree that if you had to liken Ankh-Morpork to anything, then it might as well be a piece of rubbish covered with the diseased secretions of a dying mollusc.

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.

What's the orbital velocity of the moon?