A good banana daiquiri is hard to come by. I've only ever found one place in this country that makes a proper one, and that's in Leeds.

They always gives me bath salts," complained Nobby. "And bath soap and bubble bath and herbal bath lumps and tons of bath stuff and I can't think why, 'cos it's not as if I hardly ever has a bath. You'd think they'd take the hint, wouldn't you?

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.

You do know you could find yourself charged with being a dominant species while under the influence of impulse-driven consumerism, don't you?

I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.

It was, according to the history books, the fastest coronation since Bubric the Saxon crowned himself with a very pointy crown on a hill during a thunderstorm, and reigned for one and a half seconds.

Demons were like genies or philosophy professors - if you didn't word things exactly right, they delighted in giving you absolutely accurate and completely misleading answers.