I see evil when I look in my shaving mirror. It is, philosophically, present everywhere in the universe in order, apparently, to highlight the existence of good. I think there is more to this theory, but I tend to burst out laughing at this point.

I was just a kid then. But I won't forget. Nor will others. There's lots of people with reason to hate the Church.

You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look.

Truth! Freedom! Justice! And a hard-boiled egg!

There was no himself in himself.

A number of religions in Ankh-Morpork still practiced human sacrifice, except that they didn't really need to practice any more because they had got so good at it.

She was convinced that she was anorexic, because every time she looked in the mirror she did indeed see a fat person.