The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues.

I like the idea of democracy. You have to have someone everyone distrusts.

The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it.

Probably the last sound heard before the Universe folded up like a paper hat would be someone saying, "What happens if I do this?"

It was sad, like those businessmen who came to work in serious clothes but wore colorful ties in a mad, desperate attempt to show there was a free spirit in there somewhere.

But of course, what the eagle does not realize is that it is participating in a very crude form of natural selection.One day a tortoise will learn how to fly.

I can't stand any music that requires its singers to be so dumb they wear their baseball caps backwards.