Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often students, for heaven's sake.

I never said nothing..." "I know you never! I could hear you not saying anything! You've got the loudest silences I ever did hear from anyone who wasn't dead!

You can’t say ‘if this didn’t happen then that would have happened’ because you don’t know everything that might have happened. You might think something’d be good, but for all you know it could have turned out horrible. You can’t say ‘If only I’d…’ because you could be wishing for anything. The point is, you’ll never know. You’ve gone past. So there’s no use thinking about it.

The Tezuman priests have a sophisticated calendar and an advanced horology," quoted Rincewind. "Ah," said Eric, "Good." "No," said Rincewind patiently. "It means time measurement." "Oh.

Thats how we survive infinity - we kill it by breaking it up into small bits.

People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.

There have been better attempts at marching, and they have been made by penguins.